You Don’t Have to Want Brunch: A Mother's Day Note for the Mom Who Just Wants Space
May 07, 2025
Mother’s Day is one of those holidays that’s marketed as joyful, light, and full of love.
But for a lot of Physician moms, the lead-up to that day feels heavy. Not because we don’t love our children. Not because we don’t want to be celebrated. But because what we actually want often feels… unacceptable.
Let’s name it clearly:
Some of us just want to be left alone.
What If You Don’t Want Brunch?
You don’t want the big meal.
You don’t want to see your in-laws.
You don’t even want to be around the people who made you a mother.
And that’s okay. Truly.
This year, I decided my Mother’s Day message is going to stay the same — every single year:
You deserve what you want for Mother’s Day.
Whether that’s connection or solitude. Activity or rest. Celebration or silence.
You deserve it.
This Platform Isn’t About One-Size-Fits-All
Not everyone wants to be left alone. Some Physician moms love the brunch, the cards, the chaos. That’s beautiful. I love that for you.
But I’m not speaking to the moms who want to celebrate with a full house.
I’m speaking to the ones who don’t.
To the ones who can barely admit it to themselves.
To the ones who already feel guilt creeping in because they just want space.
Because this platform — my podcast, my coaching, my work — is not about prescribing what you should want. It’s about helping you get clear on what you do want, and giving you the tools and confidence to own it.
That includes your Mother’s Day.
The Most Judged Desire: To Be Left Alone
It’s one thing to say you want a spa day.
Or a massage.
Or a little “me time.”
It’s another thing entirely to say:
“I want no one to talk to me.”
“I don’t want to be touched.”
“I want the house to myself.”
For many, that desire is quickly labeled as cold, selfish, or ungrateful.
You’re supposed to want to be with your kids.
You’re supposed to enjoy the celebration.
You’re supposed to smile and say, “This is exactly what I needed.”
But if you’re being honest, maybe what you need is something completely different.
No Explanation Required
Let me be clear:
You don’t need to be understood.
You don’t need to explain your request.
You don’t need to earn rest by performing your love.
Your love is evident every single day — in how you show up, care, provide, and lead.
And yes — it is entirely possible to want space and still love your kids with your whole heart.
To want to be left alone and still be a phenomenal mother.
To crave solitude and be deeply connected to your family.
These are not contradictions.
This is real-life motherhood.
Questions to Reflect On
If you’re wrestling with how you feel about Mother’s Day this year, ask yourself:
What would feel good to me — if no one had an opinion about it?
Am I performing gratitude, or genuinely honoring what I want?
What version of rest actually fills me up?
What’s the cost of pretending?
This Year, Let It Be Yours
You don’t have to want what they want.
You don’t have to do what’s expected.
You don’t have to “make the most of it.”
What you do have to do?
Tell the truth.
Ask for what you need.
And let your version of Mother’s Day be enough.
You’ve earned it.
