I Am Resourceful: What My Son Just Taught Me About Affirmations
May 20, 2026
I have to tell you what just happened.
My son ran inside to find me. "Mommy, I was just being resourceful." That was the opening line. I asked him what he meant, and the whole story tumbled out. His toy car had rolled under the fridge. He tried the broom — didn't work. Tried the mop — didn't work. Tried the fly swatter — that one worked. He got the car. He also found another car under there he thought he had lost.
He was so proud. So excited. And he used the word resourceful correctly, in context, with full understanding of what it meant.
He learned that word because we say affirmations at night. Most nights, before bedtime — meaning before we close the door and they start playing until whatever time they decide is actually sleep, or until we go in and separate them because they're playing too much and they still share a room.
I say the affirmations. They repeat. Even my three-year-old, who has no idea what most of those words mean yet. If she asks, I tell her. Sometimes I start explaining and she's already talking over me because she's three.
My son is old enough to ask, to wonder, to test the words out against his real life. And one of the affirmations I built specifically for him is "I am resourceful."
Because before this, every time something got in his way, he would look at me with that face. Help me. What do I do. And I would say: try. Be resourceful. Look around. See what tools you have. Figure it out.
So I planted the affirmation. He repeated it for months. And today he applied it on his own.
Here's where this turns into your episode.
You are walking around right now with whatever you've been saying to yourself on repeat. "I am too tired." "I can't figure this out." "I'm not the kind of person who..." Your subconscious is taking that down like instructions. It doesn't know whether you believe it. It doesn't care that you're "working on it." It just hears what you say.
And then when something happens — when somebody pushes back on you at work, when your kid throws a tantrum, when the inbox stacks up, when the decision in front of you is hard — your brain pulls up the file it has on you. Here is what you said. Here is who you are. And it hands you the next move.
Your kid has a car under the fridge. So do you. The fridge is bigger. The car is more expensive. The mechanism is the same.
The other thing I want you to hear: you don't have to believe it yet.
My son didn't fully understand the word resourceful when we started. He understands it now. The repetition came first. The meaning came second. The behavior came third. That is the order. Your brain chemistry shifts after the habit shifts. The habit shifts after you commit to the sentence — even when the sentence feels like a lie. It isn't a lie. It's instruction.
There's one more piece. I don't only say these at night. During the day, when something comes up, I repeat the affirmation back to him in real time. He's pulling on a piece of tape and gives up after five seconds — Remember, you are resourceful. Figure it out. My daughter is screaming at the au pair — That wasn't respectful. And she already knows: "I need to say the affirmations."
That second layer is what makes them stick. The nighttime habit puts the words in. The daytime application is what turns the words into the person.
You can do this for yourself the exact same way. Say the affirmation in the morning. Then catch yourself during the day, in the actual moment, and repeat it. I can do hard things. I am resourceful. I am the kind of doctor who... Whatever you decided on.
So here's your homework. Pick one. One I-am statement. Say it out loud, every day. If you want to get fancy, say it in the mirror — look at yourself, watch the words come out of your mouth. Don't pick five. One.
What's the sentence you've never said out loud about yourself that you want your subconscious to start running on?
I'll see you on the next episode.
Dr. Toya
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